Blackshaw is a theatre and events company I’ve worked with on and off over the last couple of years. They had a Christmas event coming up, and asked me to write some promo copy for their email newsletter. The event, Kitsch Christmas, is all about the cheesy side of Christmas (festive knitwear, drunken Santa, Dad dancing, and so on), and the brief was to frame the email as a cringeworthy round robin from some smug relatives, boasting about their perfect family’s achievements.
Which sounded like fun to me.
I don’t have any relatives that insufferable, thankfully, so as a starting point, I looked online for some dos and don’ts and hints and tips (will the express intention of doing all the don’ts):
And here’s the end result (complete with a family photo of Blackshaw’s organising committee):
SUBJECT: Blackshaw Christmas Newsletter
Gosh, how time flies! Can you believe the festive season is here already? It seems like only yesterday we were all together celebrating Christmas in our old place!
It really has been such a very busy year for the Blackshaw family. Little Titus Groan was born in April, and we were so, so touched by how many of you came to say hello to our little bundle of joy.
But of course you all want to know about the big move, and now we can officially put you out of your misery: yes, the traditional Blackshaw family Christmas open house will be happening again this year, and it’s going to be bigger and better than ever! You must all absolutely promise to come – the place is far too big for just us!
The party will be on Saturday 15th December at 7:30pm. The address for your sat-navs is The Antelope, SW17 9NG. Do remember to wear your seasonal knitwear and snazzy festive accessories – Auntie Lizzie and Uncle Nick have really pulled out all the stops this year, so dress to impress!
We’re going to ask you all to contribute £5 at the door, just in case we see a repeat of last year’s ‘Christmas Spirit Incident’ with Uncle Steve and have to hire another industrial carpet cleaner! He’s promised to behave this year, but after a sherry or two, no one will be able to stop him whipping out the guitar sing-song … such fun!
Our little ones are getting on very well, by the way (I know you were wondering!). We’re all terribly proud of how they’ve all taken to their drama and music with such gusto. Just between us and the Christmas tree, if they’re very good we might let them stay up late so they can put on a little festive performance for you all…
And as if that weren’t enough to bring you flocking to our door, we’re decking the halls with all our usual party games and disco fun. There’ll be mystery prizes on offer for those that want to get involved, and we’re on the Twitter now so give us a follow for some exclusives (and little competitions!) in the lead up to the big day. We’ve also arranged for a very special visitor from the North Pole to join us! Have you been naughty or nice?!
Now, we’d like to get an idea of numbers, so if you’re sure you’re coming, send a quick email to firstname.lastname@example.org. If you do, there’ll be some of Grandma and Grandpa Weston’s world famous Christmas cookies on a table for you and your loved ones on the night!
Until then, we’ve filmed a little christmas message for you all. Have a little look here
Much love and Christmas cheer,
The Blackshaw Family xxx